What is your idea? What do you want to be in the future?
When I was a child, I undoubtly would answer: a doctor like my mom told to me to do so.
When I was a teenager at high school, I answered: a psychologist, a journalist, a writer, a governor's wife, a businessman's wife, a president's wife, or a rich wife. I seriuosly answered it like this. Hahaha...
When I was at university, I always replied with: becoming a rich person. There were so many professions I wanted on that time like an interpreter, a trainer, a translator, a lecturer, and a copywriter.
My thesis was about copywriting and translation because I thought becoming the copywriter as well as a translator could make me rich faster. Then, I took some translation and copywriting works until I realized that I couldn't stand with dead objects. Eventhough they gave me more money than teaching, they couldn't give me such a big happiness when I teach.
Then, at a time, I decided to become a lecturer. Why? On that time, I thought that this profession wouldn't take my time so much. So that, I would still be able to spend my times with kids and family. I also thought that it could bring more projects and works, so I could get rich easier. Hahaha. So that, I planned to take my Master degree just as the requirement to become a lecturer.
After graduated from university, I got a little bit confused with my life. Since I was going to take my master, I refused some full-time job offers because I needed so much time to prepare myself as well as to think it over and over. I was focusing on preparing my master application and scholarship, though. First, I chose UK just because I wanted to have further knowledge on my major, but I was committed to myself that I wouldn't take my master there if I couldn't get family allowance to bring my mother as well. Secondly, I was also applying on Brunei Darussalam scholarship. Why did I choose Brunei? Just because I thought it was the safest and most peaceful place to live alone, and it will be easier for my mom to visit me as it is an ASEAN member country which doesn't need any visa application. In addition, it would only take one year to finish the study. Last, I applied on University of Indonesia along with applying the lecturer candidate scholarship of DIKTI.
In the meantime, I seriously wanted to become a teacher at a formal international school, but I didn't have any teaching license since I was not a pedagogics student. Alternatively, I was happy to know that I could become a teacher at informal sector. That's why I become a freelance teacher everywhere. I teach in various age levels from toddlers to adults, at various places from homeschooling to extracurricular at formal schools, in various ways from privately to institutionally. I really enjoy this transition life before taking my master.
Apparently, those experiences brought me to have another idea - becoming a full-time Mom for my children. What?? Why? I seriuosly mean it. It is because I have found so many family problems of my students that actually just need a full-time mother roles as a one-stop solution for all. I just won't regret myself someday. When I spoke this idea out to my mom and my friends in the early 2013, they didn't believe me. Until now, my mom still wishes me to become a full-time employee or a government employee -__-
That's why my mom really agreed when my university asked me to work at campus as a staff at the International Office of Education. The only one reason I agreed to take this job was that I could still leave the office anytime I had to teach at some places. There were so many learning experiences that I could take from this place. It taught me that becoming a government employee and a lecturer were not the good options anymore.
Really? I really can say that. Do you want to know what I found? I found so many 'gray areas' and got some 'gray money' that made me feel guilty of using it. I didn't like this thing. What I always put in my mind since I was a child is that all of us can get the same amount of money from the two optional ways: halal or haram.
This is the life value that I got from Lorong Waktu. On that episode, Zidan and Pak Haji went to visit someone's funeral. Then, they entrusted someone to take care of their motorbike. He agreed then. On the funeral area, Zidan and Pak Haji discussed and decided to give him IDR 10k. Apparently, he was not honest. He took away their motorbike's tyre and sold it to a nearest tyre shop. When they finished visiting the funeral, they astoundingly found that one of their tyres was detached. At the end, they recognized their tyre at a one shop and seriously asked the shopkeeper about how it could be there. He explained that he just got from someone selling that tyre IDR 10k to the store. See? The moral life value I got from this episode is that God has already provided us the same amount money. We just need to choose the way: halal or haram.
In another word, I don't want to be a government employee simply because I don't want to spend the rest of my life working that will take my time with my family. I also can't stand with the same routinely activity. However, I have a big problem - My mom obliges me to become a government employee. It's so hard to negotiate this. Even, I have already prepared my own retired investment and health insurance which are the reasons why My Mom insists me to be a government employee -.- (I think I need my life partner to support me for this #eh). Then, as you can guess, I am obliged to register myself whenever there is an open recruitment for becoming the government employee. I just followed without any confrontation, even my heart says a big no. I do it just to make my mom happy and never be dissapointed to have me as her daughter.
What about becoming a lecturer? When I worked at campus, I found some ironic facts. First, I just knew that the lecturer's salary was too low that they couldn't rely on. That's why most of them will be so happy to have some researches or other projects. We just need to understand them more. Next, I've just discovered that it was not such an easy way to become a lecturer. I wouldn't have much time to take care of my family due to all expected and unexpected tasks, and I had to dedicate most of my times to get the great career position. Lastly, I saw a few lecturers who spend their retirement in loneliness and in nursing home, just because their children are so busy with their lives. There was a very heartbreaking statement from their children, "I sent my parents to nursing home, so they can get the best place like they sent me to daycare when I was a child. Then, I also hire the skilled nurse to my parents like they gave me. I think they can understand how busy I am like I tried to understand them when they had no time for helping me finish my homework"
Duaaarrr!!! It was like a bomb in my heart. I have just understood the best pray to our parents stating : .... Kamaa Robbayaanii Shogiiroo - QS 17:24 translating into:
"as they did bring me up when I was small". It brought me to the full reminder for my actual idea to become full-time mom for my kids in the future.
July 2013 was the most awaited month of the year. It was the time of some announcements. First, my family allowance proposal at a UK university was rejected because it was definitely not for parents but for children as family members. It lost my desire to take my master there. Second, I wasn't as lucky as 6 awardee of Brunei Darussalam Government scholarship. Third, I got admitted in University of Indonesia at Selection Round 2, but I was too late to apply the DIKTI scholarship that they just admitted the applicants from Selection Round 2. It was very disappointing thing for me and for a friend of mine. He even had already made sure that all of Selection Round 2 participants could apply for the scholarship in a few months ago.
Then, I decided to not take my master in this university because of some reasons. First, I was just lazy to apply or look for other alternative scholarship. Next, I wrongly chose the major. I wanted to choose the pedagogics or linguistics, but then I falsely selected Literatures that I couldn't undo it. Third, I was so afraid that I couldn't focus on my study like what I had done on my bachelor program. Then, I thought it was better for me to concentrate on working for achieving my financial target. Last, I think that I will be happier and more peaceful when I take my master degree abroad with my future husband someday, so we can fully support each other.
What did I do after all? I was enjoying my time of being my mother's best daughter. I focused on gaining more money, and I spent most of my times with studying investment. I tried to be more discipline on investment in various areas. Why did I do this? Because someday I hope I still can earn and give money to my mom from my own investment without burdening my future husband.
In the meantime, I also promised myself and hope God will bless my dream job as a great mommy for my future kids, a proud wife, and a dedicated daughter and granddaughter. Seriously? Yes, 1000%. How could I decide this as my dream job while I could have a bright career? Here are the backgrounds of decision:
1) In early 2012, I took my internship at a social foundation in Sabah Malaysia. I worked as a teacher and children counselour. I once gave them some psychology test and interviewed them. I was very shocked when I knew how fragile the children are without their mommy. They grew undirectedly without having a self control. I become understood to those who are really hard to handle in the foundation. They became my 'best friend' after all, though. I leraned how to handle and accompany children.
2) In the last quarter of 2012, I was offered to teach at a homeschooling in North Jakarta. I was so interested because it was a new thing for me to study and to experience. I met so many 'unique' children. They are challenging at first times that really test our patience and persistence, but they gave lots of love when they have already accepted me to enter their zone. After all, I could conclude that actually they just need more attention and mother roles in their lives since all the mothers of my students spent so much time in working. It was a one-stop solution.
3) In early 2013, I was committed to myself not to take any full-time job for some reasons. First, I've realized that I am target-oriented person who will never be satisfied until I get the highest position in career. Second, I'm still so afraid that I really enjoy the comfort zone that makes me forget to learn and experience more and forget my real nature. Third, I am potentially arogant with a very high ego. I'm afraid that I'll underestimate my future husband if I get higher career than him. It will be very dangerous since I won't respect him anymore. Fourth, I'm so afraid that I cannot leave my full-time job because of the employment contract. These are the reasons why I politely always refuse any full-time job offer. I'm sorry I've my own happiness definition. For me, the highest career position is not the one which will make me happy. However, I'll really support my future husband to achieve his highest career position as long as he is happy. His happiness is the most important one.
4) In the last quarter of 2013, as I told before, I got so many learnings from peoples' experience that makes me conclude that I don't want to be a lecturer or a government employee in the future anymore. I want to totally invest my time with my family at home. I've been a lecturer since last year, though. I think I'm quite satisfied to have already experienced it. Also, I'm still doing my best to follow my mom's command to apply as a government employee (*husbaaand, please come sooon to save me #eh).
5) In the middle of 2014, I changed my future plan again. I thought that I could go to work when my children grown-up. Suprisingly, I got some new points of view leading to the conclusion that the teenagers and young adults still really need their full-time mommy to help them discover their self-identity. They even demanded their mom's presence more in those ages. Those are some facts and stories I got from some parents and students since I taught teenagers at secondary school and some English courses.
Then, finally, I am going to be a lifetime full-time housewife for my family in the future in order to make sure my husband, my kids, my parents, my parents-in-law, and the rest of family live happily. This is not easy for me to convince many people even my mom about how serious I want to invest all my times in the family. I hope Allah will grant me my dream job and role as a proud wife, a great mommy, a dedicated daughter/daughter-in-law, and a rich and generous woman. Aamiin Yaa Rabbal 'Alaamiin...
When I was a child, I undoubtly would answer: a doctor like my mom told to me to do so.
When I was a teenager at high school, I answered: a psychologist, a journalist, a writer, a governor's wife, a businessman's wife, a president's wife, or a rich wife. I seriuosly answered it like this. Hahaha...
When I was at university, I always replied with: becoming a rich person. There were so many professions I wanted on that time like an interpreter, a trainer, a translator, a lecturer, and a copywriter.
My thesis was about copywriting and translation because I thought becoming the copywriter as well as a translator could make me rich faster. Then, I took some translation and copywriting works until I realized that I couldn't stand with dead objects. Eventhough they gave me more money than teaching, they couldn't give me such a big happiness when I teach.
Then, at a time, I decided to become a lecturer. Why? On that time, I thought that this profession wouldn't take my time so much. So that, I would still be able to spend my times with kids and family. I also thought that it could bring more projects and works, so I could get rich easier. Hahaha. So that, I planned to take my Master degree just as the requirement to become a lecturer.
After graduated from university, I got a little bit confused with my life. Since I was going to take my master, I refused some full-time job offers because I needed so much time to prepare myself as well as to think it over and over. I was focusing on preparing my master application and scholarship, though. First, I chose UK just because I wanted to have further knowledge on my major, but I was committed to myself that I wouldn't take my master there if I couldn't get family allowance to bring my mother as well. Secondly, I was also applying on Brunei Darussalam scholarship. Why did I choose Brunei? Just because I thought it was the safest and most peaceful place to live alone, and it will be easier for my mom to visit me as it is an ASEAN member country which doesn't need any visa application. In addition, it would only take one year to finish the study. Last, I applied on University of Indonesia along with applying the lecturer candidate scholarship of DIKTI.
In the meantime, I seriously wanted to become a teacher at a formal international school, but I didn't have any teaching license since I was not a pedagogics student. Alternatively, I was happy to know that I could become a teacher at informal sector. That's why I become a freelance teacher everywhere. I teach in various age levels from toddlers to adults, at various places from homeschooling to extracurricular at formal schools, in various ways from privately to institutionally. I really enjoy this transition life before taking my master.
Apparently, those experiences brought me to have another idea - becoming a full-time Mom for my children. What?? Why? I seriuosly mean it. It is because I have found so many family problems of my students that actually just need a full-time mother roles as a one-stop solution for all. I just won't regret myself someday. When I spoke this idea out to my mom and my friends in the early 2013, they didn't believe me. Until now, my mom still wishes me to become a full-time employee or a government employee -__-
That's why my mom really agreed when my university asked me to work at campus as a staff at the International Office of Education. The only one reason I agreed to take this job was that I could still leave the office anytime I had to teach at some places. There were so many learning experiences that I could take from this place. It taught me that becoming a government employee and a lecturer were not the good options anymore.
Really? I really can say that. Do you want to know what I found? I found so many 'gray areas' and got some 'gray money' that made me feel guilty of using it. I didn't like this thing. What I always put in my mind since I was a child is that all of us can get the same amount of money from the two optional ways: halal or haram.
This is the life value that I got from Lorong Waktu. On that episode, Zidan and Pak Haji went to visit someone's funeral. Then, they entrusted someone to take care of their motorbike. He agreed then. On the funeral area, Zidan and Pak Haji discussed and decided to give him IDR 10k. Apparently, he was not honest. He took away their motorbike's tyre and sold it to a nearest tyre shop. When they finished visiting the funeral, they astoundingly found that one of their tyres was detached. At the end, they recognized their tyre at a one shop and seriously asked the shopkeeper about how it could be there. He explained that he just got from someone selling that tyre IDR 10k to the store. See? The moral life value I got from this episode is that God has already provided us the same amount money. We just need to choose the way: halal or haram.
In another word, I don't want to be a government employee simply because I don't want to spend the rest of my life working that will take my time with my family. I also can't stand with the same routinely activity. However, I have a big problem - My mom obliges me to become a government employee. It's so hard to negotiate this. Even, I have already prepared my own retired investment and health insurance which are the reasons why My Mom insists me to be a government employee -.- (I think I need my life partner to support me for this #eh). Then, as you can guess, I am obliged to register myself whenever there is an open recruitment for becoming the government employee. I just followed without any confrontation, even my heart says a big no. I do it just to make my mom happy and never be dissapointed to have me as her daughter.
What about becoming a lecturer? When I worked at campus, I found some ironic facts. First, I just knew that the lecturer's salary was too low that they couldn't rely on. That's why most of them will be so happy to have some researches or other projects. We just need to understand them more. Next, I've just discovered that it was not such an easy way to become a lecturer. I wouldn't have much time to take care of my family due to all expected and unexpected tasks, and I had to dedicate most of my times to get the great career position. Lastly, I saw a few lecturers who spend their retirement in loneliness and in nursing home, just because their children are so busy with their lives. There was a very heartbreaking statement from their children, "I sent my parents to nursing home, so they can get the best place like they sent me to daycare when I was a child. Then, I also hire the skilled nurse to my parents like they gave me. I think they can understand how busy I am like I tried to understand them when they had no time for helping me finish my homework"
Duaaarrr!!! It was like a bomb in my heart. I have just understood the best pray to our parents stating : .... Kamaa Robbayaanii Shogiiroo - QS 17:24 translating into:
"as they did bring me up when I was small". It brought me to the full reminder for my actual idea to become full-time mom for my kids in the future.
July 2013 was the most awaited month of the year. It was the time of some announcements. First, my family allowance proposal at a UK university was rejected because it was definitely not for parents but for children as family members. It lost my desire to take my master there. Second, I wasn't as lucky as 6 awardee of Brunei Darussalam Government scholarship. Third, I got admitted in University of Indonesia at Selection Round 2, but I was too late to apply the DIKTI scholarship that they just admitted the applicants from Selection Round 2. It was very disappointing thing for me and for a friend of mine. He even had already made sure that all of Selection Round 2 participants could apply for the scholarship in a few months ago.
Then, I decided to not take my master in this university because of some reasons. First, I was just lazy to apply or look for other alternative scholarship. Next, I wrongly chose the major. I wanted to choose the pedagogics or linguistics, but then I falsely selected Literatures that I couldn't undo it. Third, I was so afraid that I couldn't focus on my study like what I had done on my bachelor program. Then, I thought it was better for me to concentrate on working for achieving my financial target. Last, I think that I will be happier and more peaceful when I take my master degree abroad with my future husband someday, so we can fully support each other.
What did I do after all? I was enjoying my time of being my mother's best daughter. I focused on gaining more money, and I spent most of my times with studying investment. I tried to be more discipline on investment in various areas. Why did I do this? Because someday I hope I still can earn and give money to my mom from my own investment without burdening my future husband.
In the meantime, I also promised myself and hope God will bless my dream job as a great mommy for my future kids, a proud wife, and a dedicated daughter and granddaughter. Seriously? Yes, 1000%. How could I decide this as my dream job while I could have a bright career? Here are the backgrounds of decision:
1) In early 2012, I took my internship at a social foundation in Sabah Malaysia. I worked as a teacher and children counselour. I once gave them some psychology test and interviewed them. I was very shocked when I knew how fragile the children are without their mommy. They grew undirectedly without having a self control. I become understood to those who are really hard to handle in the foundation. They became my 'best friend' after all, though. I leraned how to handle and accompany children.
2) In the last quarter of 2012, I was offered to teach at a homeschooling in North Jakarta. I was so interested because it was a new thing for me to study and to experience. I met so many 'unique' children. They are challenging at first times that really test our patience and persistence, but they gave lots of love when they have already accepted me to enter their zone. After all, I could conclude that actually they just need more attention and mother roles in their lives since all the mothers of my students spent so much time in working. It was a one-stop solution.
3) In early 2013, I was committed to myself not to take any full-time job for some reasons. First, I've realized that I am target-oriented person who will never be satisfied until I get the highest position in career. Second, I'm still so afraid that I really enjoy the comfort zone that makes me forget to learn and experience more and forget my real nature. Third, I am potentially arogant with a very high ego. I'm afraid that I'll underestimate my future husband if I get higher career than him. It will be very dangerous since I won't respect him anymore. Fourth, I'm so afraid that I cannot leave my full-time job because of the employment contract. These are the reasons why I politely always refuse any full-time job offer. I'm sorry I've my own happiness definition. For me, the highest career position is not the one which will make me happy. However, I'll really support my future husband to achieve his highest career position as long as he is happy. His happiness is the most important one.
4) In the last quarter of 2013, as I told before, I got so many learnings from peoples' experience that makes me conclude that I don't want to be a lecturer or a government employee in the future anymore. I want to totally invest my time with my family at home. I've been a lecturer since last year, though. I think I'm quite satisfied to have already experienced it. Also, I'm still doing my best to follow my mom's command to apply as a government employee (*husbaaand, please come sooon to save me #eh).
5) In the middle of 2014, I changed my future plan again. I thought that I could go to work when my children grown-up. Suprisingly, I got some new points of view leading to the conclusion that the teenagers and young adults still really need their full-time mommy to help them discover their self-identity. They even demanded their mom's presence more in those ages. Those are some facts and stories I got from some parents and students since I taught teenagers at secondary school and some English courses.
Then, finally, I am going to be a lifetime full-time housewife for my family in the future in order to make sure my husband, my kids, my parents, my parents-in-law, and the rest of family live happily. This is not easy for me to convince many people even my mom about how serious I want to invest all my times in the family. I hope Allah will grant me my dream job and role as a proud wife, a great mommy, a dedicated daughter/daughter-in-law, and a rich and generous woman. Aamiin Yaa Rabbal 'Alaamiin...